I think I'll sue New Mexico State University.
I'll get the ACLU to handle my case, for free, so those Aggies will buckle their knees and pay me a lot of money in an out-of-court settlement.
They do that, you know. Sue 'em and they settle.
NMSU settled out of court this week on a lawsuit brought by four former football players against Coach Hal Mumme. The basic complaint was Mumme allegedly didn't treat them well, and they said it was because they are Muslims.
A few years back, NMSU backed out and paid off its former basketball coach, Neil McCarthy, some $800,000 when he sued over being reassigned to some gymnasium job across campus, if I recall. Teaching dance, was it? In the McCarthy case the Aggies had to pay the lawyer(s), too — about a million dollars, if I recall correctly.
Hey, these Aggies are easy money. Sue and get paid.
I can see why the school just wants to get it over — settle and get on with hoping they don't get sued again. It's a state institution so the taxpayers cough up the money, anyway.
Here's my suit (are you listening ACLU?):
For more than 15 years, as sports editor of the Las Cruces Sun-News, I had to cover that terrible Aggie football program every single fall, year after year after ...
Then, when I came to El Paso in 1985, I had that equally terrible UTEP football program eroding my natural wonderfulness.
I'm a warm, gracious, loving person. Anyway, that's what God intended. The real me would never, ever, say an unkind word about anybody in print.
My suit contends the Aggies turned me into a tell-it-like-it-is, mean ol' sports columnist when I could have been a beloved suck-up to the home team.
Anyway, do you think I can get a million or so out of the Aggies?