Haiku to you, Bud...
righteous but not right
at bat, baseball looks away
Rocker throws the heat
Baseball players past and present have been up in arms since former Senator George Mitchell released his little ditty on performance-enhancing drugs and their game.
In their eyes, the world is only getting a single track from what should be a complete album, and it makes them wonder if the rest of what Mitchell recorded was any good.
Then, after much flapping of Washington's best cigar-and-martini-soaked gums, Commissioner Bud Selig says baseball will be firm in dealing with juicers and will cast a serious eye toward the subjects of Mitchell's most titillating lyrics.
Former major leaguer John Rocker has never been known as a critic of great discernment when it comes to pretty much anything outside of career meltdowns. But such is baseball's teetering reputation these days that it has left itself incapable of hitting a fastball from a pitcher with no curve.
Rocker is no saint. He admits to having juiced. So why take seriously a man who made himself the punch line of his own joke?
Because he's right. Because, what does he care about name and reputation? Because he hasn't written a tell-not-quite-all book, which means he's not Jose Canseco.
Rocker might be the perfect fellow to speak out in place of major leaguers who might otherwise incur the wrath of MLB and damage their reputations if they spoke their minds about the Mitchell Report.
Major League Baseball can try to explain Rocker away, saying it didn't have the apparatus in place to punish him when his juicing was uncovered in 2000.
They can point out in a fit of pique the reason he had to submit to that drug test -- his suspension from the game for making those nasty comments about gays, immigrants and the New York subway system.
They can paint John Rocker any color they want, but it does not change the fact that MLB's own behavior is the reason John Rocker is throwing strikes again.