What drives someone to cheat? Is it true that once it happens there is a very good chance it will happen again? What keeps us in the relationship after infidelity?
A dear friend of mine recently discovered that her partner of 2 years was cheating on her. She is devastated. She questions herself trying to figure out what she could have done to prevent this from happening. I have gone through this several times as I know you have. Why is it that we sometimes blame ourselves for this happening?
A friend of mine opened up to me and as a cheater himself, he confessed the top three reasons why he cheated.
1. Loss of interest in the current relationship
2. Loss of physical attraction
3. Retaliation
Loss of interest is very common. Question is, why is it that people don't end their relationship once this loss occurs? If at any time you are having thoughts about someone else and are actually considering cheating, I think it's time to end the relationship you are in. I think we get to a comfortable state in which it just seems easier to go ahead with the infidelity rather than face the other person with the truth.
Loss of physical attraction is also a common occurance. Maybe one person's appearance has changed and we just can't get ourselves to tell them we are no longer attracted to them physically. Or maybe the physical connection shared at one point just isn't there anymore. But wouldn't it just be easier to tell the truth instead of hurting them by being unfaithful?
Retaliation is a bit less heard of but it does happen. Cheating because you were cheated on. The humiliation felt then turns to anger. At this point the relationship has crossed the point of no return. There is nothing to salvage after this act. Would you want to stay knowing you can hurt each other again?
We've all had rocky relationships. Temptation is all around. Difference is we must choose not to act on our impulses. The hurt and humiliation that comes of infedelity is irreversible. You wouldn't like to have this done to you so why do it to someone? Remember The Golden rule!
Thank you for reading :)
I apologize for the lack of blogs lately. I've been having some personal issues to take care of. Things are getting back to normal thankfully. I promise I will not forget you!
-Kari
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