Love movies? Join Luis Carrasco to discuss the magic of the silver screen. Movie lovers welcomed, film snobs less welcomed.
Apparently Woody Allen is continuing with his effort to see Scarlett Johansson naked but, you know, not be too obvious about it. This time he's put her in what seems to be his sexiest movie ever (yes, even sexier than "Zelig") Vicky Cristina Barcelona.
The film's trailer is below and it pretty much features permutations of the four main characters making out with each other, including Johansson with Penelope Cruz.
File this one under whaaaaaaat?
Variety is reporting that director Werner Herzog is directing Nicolas Cage in a remake of Abel Ferrara's Bad Lieutenant. I'm a huge fan of the film and of Harvey Keitel's performance as the title character, but I can't think of a reason why anyone would want to remake such a grim, dirty, depressing story.
Sure, there's the redemption angle the remake can push, but what makes the movie stand out is Keitel's acting and Ferrara's fever-dream direction and scuzzy touch. I doubt the remake will feature Cage even half as emotionally ragged, nude, crazy, drunk and drugged out of his mind as Keitel (which would normally be a good thing).
The silver lining is that Herzog will be directing, but what could possibly attract a guy like him to remake a movie that is pretty much perfect as is? If they want to start remaking Ferrara movies, I'd start with his "early" work.
How about Nic Cage IS The Cat in "Nine Lives of a Wet Pussy".
You've heard about it, you've thought about it, you've even dreamt about it, and now it's here: Green Porno! What is Green Porno, you ask. Here, let the news release explain it.
Green Porno is a series of very short films conceived, written, directed by and featuring Isabella Rossellini about the sex life of bugs, insects and various creatures. The films are a comical, but insightful study of the curious ways certain bugs “make love”. Each film is executed in a very simple childlike manner. They are a playful mixture of real world and cartoon.
Most are very funny, and while they are executed in a childlike manner (why would the news release lie?) they're not exactly for kids. I recommend the bee video, although it upset me to know that when my dad told me about the birds and the bees, he neglected to mention the part about losing your penis.
Comic fans can finally stop holding their breath: If the reviews are to be believed, it looks like Marvel and director Jon Favreau got Iron Man right. Things looked to be headed in the right direction the moment Robert Downey Jr. was cast as Tony Stark (and not this guy), but once you factor in how many people have their say on such a multimillion dollar production, it’s a wonder there’s any personality left over once the film goes through the entire production process.
I won’t find out until tomorrow if "Iron Man" joins the ranks of the great superhero movies, but at least I’m pretty sure he won’t rocket-boot his way to the bottom of the line with the rest of the losers (no, not these Losers).
My Favorite Superhero Movies
Superman II (1980)
Yes, they took it away from Richard Donner. Yes, the “comedy” bits are lame. Yes, the deus ex smooch at the end is a giant cheat. Yes, it’s cheesy as hell. But darn it if the Superman sequel isn’t the best superhero movie ever. It’s got heart, action, a fantastic villain AND Superman gets lucky. Granted, it’s with Margo Kidder but I’d still pick her wiseacre Lois Lane over the dull Kate Bosworth version.
Spider-Man 2 (2004)
Much like in "Superman II," now that we’ve got all the messy exposition out of the way, "Spider-Man 2" is free to tell an interesting story (why, oh why must all superhero movies be origin stories? If you can believe a man can fly, does it matter how or why?). After the solid but uninspired first film, director Sam Raimi came back with a new sense of fun and a strong script that found the right balance between action and character.
Alfred Molina as Doc Ock is a great sympathetic villain and the sequence were Peter stops the runaway subway car perfectly distills Spider-Man’s appeal down to its essence. Spider-Man is not Superman and he’s a better character because of it.
Unbreakable (2000)
I know I just complained about origin stories, but it helps that you don’t realize you’re watching one until the third act of M. Night Shyamalan’s perfectly paced, real-world superhero tale. Heartbreaking or empowering, depending on which character’s point of view you take, “Unbreakable” was seen as too mopey by many audiences but it’s really a celebration of comic book dreams.
X2: X-Men United (2003)
Looks like second time’s the charm for most of these movies. "X-Men 2" builds on the first film (again, solid but uninspired) and manages not to insult comics fans and still be interesting and easy to follow for mainstream audiences. Good character development, exciting action sequences and a cliffhanger ending make the movie work. Much like "Spider-Man 2," it’s so good that it promised a sequel that it didn’t deliver on.
Batman Begins (2005)
You know you’ve got a good movie when the title character doesn’t show up until the middle of the film and you’re so caught up with other things that you could have done without him. In fact, if anything is weak in this movie (apart from Katie Holmes’ limp performance) is that Christian Bale is so strong as Bruce Wayne that you miss him when he turns into Batman. Other than that, director Christopher Nolan revives the franchise with style and wit. He gives the Dark Knight his balls back, after being thoroughly neutered by Joel Schumacher.
Honorable mentions
Hulk (2003)
Ang Lee’s misunderstood monster movie turns a father/son psychological battle into the Hulk fighting a dust storm Nick Nolte (or something like that).
The Rocketeer (1991)
Maybe it’s the beautiful Jennifer Connely, or maybe it’s the beautiful Rocketeer design, or maybe it’s the beautiful fact that nobody saw it, whatever the reason, “The Rocketeer” has a special place on this list.
Terrible superhero movies
Batman Forever (1995)
George Clooney likes to apologize for “Batman & Robin,” but that movie was at least tolerable because you went in knowing what to expect. “Batman Forever,” the first of Joel Schumacher’s roundhouse buggerings of the Batman franchise, is the one people should be put in prison for. While Val Kilmer and Nicole Kidman sleepwalk through it, Tommy Lee Jones and Jim Carrey chew up the scenery, puke it back up and then make the audience eat it.
The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (2003)
Next to “Watchmen Babies in V for Vacation,” this movie is probably the worst adaptation of an Alan Moore comic that I can think of. The concept for Gentlemen is simple, it’s Justice League meets Victorian Literature as Mina Murray, Allan Quatermain, Captain Nemo, Mr. Hyde and the Invisible Man join forces to stop a nefarious threat against the empire.
In the hands of Moore and Kevin O’Neill, the comic is packed with atmosphere and dense with period references and allusions. In the hands of the Hollywood dumbasses who “adapted” it, it’s basically full of crap.
Spawn (1997)
A visionary film, in so far as it predicted that the comic book would eventually be as terrible as the movie.
Catwoman (2004)
Seriously, I had trouble with Michelle Pfeiffer’s Catwoman in “Batman Returns,” but I would rather be whipped by her while stitching together her ridiculous patchwork leather outfit than to sit through Halle Berry’s take on the character ever again.
Lamestrosities
After years of avoiding it I finally saw Grave of the Fireflies the other day. Although I knew what it was about, and even though the movie makes it clear from the beginning that the two main characters don't survive, I was still openly weeping by the time the credits rolled. That is one beautiful, sad and depressing movie.
Once in a while, a movie will press the right buttons and make me cry. Off the top of my head, these films include The Umbrellas of Cherbourg, Breaking the Waves, Midnight Cowboy, Before Sunset and Schindler's List. I've found that I'm particularly weak on the subjects of lost love, injustice and human decency. How about you?
To get the conversation started, I asked the good people at the El Paso Times for some movies that made them cry. While most of them were too busy writing corrections to respond, some brave, sensitive souls answered the call.
Gustavo Reveles Acosta
One of the movies that always gets me is The Color Purple. It's just so sad at the end. I remember watching the movie with my dad one time and I was trying to be all macho and not let that one tear come down my face. I fought it hard, too, but I finally gave in when I looked over at him and saw him tearing up himself. He later told me Celie's life reminded him of his own mother's.
Another one that made me tear up was, of all things, Camp. There's nothing really sad about this movie, but somehow the relationship that one of the characters had with his roommate made me very sad and a little nostalgic.
Erica Molina Johnson
I don't care if you think less of me for not having any movies on this list from the last 10 years, or anything with an obscure name and subtitles. The late 80s and early 90s were apparently a high point in tearjerking America cinema for me. Here's my list of movies that will always make me cry, unless someone else is in the room:
Honorable mention:
Jay Koester
When I think of movies that made me cry, I always think of Running on Empty with River Phoenix. A lot of that was the time and place I was watching it. I had just graduated from the University of Kansas and was to leave later that week for my first job in Oregon.
In the movie, Phoenix's family has been on the run from the law for years. But he's in high school, and suddenly has a girlfriend, and has to decide whether to keep running with his family, or stay where he is.
Staying where he is means he likely will never see his family again.
In the last scene, his family is driving around him saying goodbye as James Taylor's "Fire and Rain" plays. With me about to move away from my hometown, mom, dad and brother, I was a crying wreck by the end of that scene.
To this day, I can't hear that song without getting at least a little emotional.
Louie Gilot
Since I've given birth, any movie where a child is in danger brings out the water works. The French movie Forbidden Games, where the little girl's entire family dies during WWII and she is alone, crying out for her brother at the end, "Michel! Michel!"
Or the baby carriage falling down the stairs in The Untouchables. Or when they show the infected mom trying to get her baby girl to safety in I Am Legend. That's during the flashbacks when all of New York is trying to leave and the military is scanning their eyes to see if they are future zombies. That one woman, who is obviously infected, is trying to give her child to a healthy person, to save her, and nobody is taking her. Shit, I am crying just writing about it...
And I don't even want to think about Sophie's Choice, where the Nazis make a mother choose between her son and her daughter inside a concentration camp (She chooses the little boy and the little girl goes to the gas chamber).
Adriana Chavez
I'll be the first to admit that I'm a big crybaby. I cry at almost every movie. The last movie I really cried at was "Things We Lost In The Fire," but the main reason I cried then was because it was a pretty bad movie, so that doesn't count. But I digress, here is my list of the top five tearjerking movies of all time.
Leonard Martinez
I must admit I get choked up during the vigil scene at the end of Pay It Forward.
I also fight back tears during Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back when Han Solo is about to be turned into a popsickle and Chewbacca wails in sadness.
At least two people I know hate his guts, but one's from Canada and the other's from Venus, so you can't really trust their opinions. Anyway, here's what Tommy Lee Jones has to say about the border fence, it should at least cheer up City Council.
"The idea of a fence between El Paso and Brownsville bears all the credibility and seriousness of flying saucers from Mars or leprechauns. Or any manner of malicious, paranoid superstition. In other words, it's bullshit.
"[You hear the talk] and the talk is worth headlines, the talk is worth attention, and that might lead to votes. It's a predatory approach to democracy by those who would instill fear and then propose themselves as a solution. It's very destructive. Very, very destructive. And it's the perfectly wrong thing to do.
"First of all, it won't work. You can't build a fence that I cannot get over, through, or under if I want to go to Mexico. In that [border] country, you cannot do it. It's a complete folly. Ecologically, it's a complete disaster, and sociologically, it's a complete disaster. It's an act of fascist madness.
"And the people who are being appealed to, the voterships that are removed from that country, are being spoken to as if it's time to fence their backyard so the stray dog doesn't get in. 'Okay, let's just build a fence.' That's as far removed from reality as can be, and entirely cynical by those who would manipulate these people. It's a sad day for the democratic process to see people manipulated through fear and insecurity."
- Tommy Lee Jones in an interview at 02138mag.com
The Los Angeles Times is reporting that "eight will be the magic number for the 'Harry Potter' film franchise," with the last book of the series being split into two movies to be released in November 2010 and May 2011, respectively.
Although producer David Heyman said the move was "born out of purely creative reasons," he noted that "cynical observers would see the decision as a purely mercenary move".
You think?
Heyman goes on to say, and Daniel Radcliffe echoes, that while subplots in the other books could be left out of the movies (even if many fans cried foul), the story of the last book is so massive that it couldn't be streamlined into a single film.
Put me in the cynical camp, but even as I enjoyed reading the last book ("Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows" for you Muggles out there) I noticed a lot of fat that could be trimmed. I mean, unless they're going to dramatize the weeks that Harry and the gang spend hiding from Voldemort, I can't see the book taking up over four hours of screen time.
Some nice moments aside, the 2008 Oscars were a limp affair. No big surprises, no upsets, no nothing. Jon Stewart was funny and relaxed and he did a fine job as host. Maybe next year will be better.
"No Country for Old Men" wins. I guess the Coens will let Scott Rudin talk.
Scorsese presents the Best Director Oscar to... Joel and Ethan Coen. BIG surprise... zzzzzzzz.
Actually Joel gives a pretty good acceptance speech. I wonder what they'll do for Best Picture.
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